Tigerface

I watched "War of the Arrows" tonight, and it only took me three hours to finish it! (Movie is 2:02 long.) If there is a way to watch movies that doesn't involve reading about the Qings on Wikipedia and looking at naked pictures of Prince Harry, I don't want to know it. I feel like this worked out well, because I finished just in time to take my Ambien ten minutes ago. I read somewhere that if I stay up on Ambien, my furniture will talk to me. That's not my plan tonight, but if I could choose one inanimate object to hallucinate about it would definitely be a picture of this guy from the movie:

Look at that forehead! Great job, CGI guys! Whoever said that putting a human facial expression on a tiger would make it way scarier was SO RIGHT.

Inception

Yes, I waited this long to watch "Inception". No, I didn't think it was that awesome. I should've just watched an episode of "Foyle's War," a BBC series about a man's brave attempt to never express strong emotions with his face (and WWII). 

You'd think I would've loved "Inception", because my movie preferences when I'm by myself are dictated by two main concerns:

-Average handsomeness of cast

-My ability to fall asleep for three minutes at a time and not miss important plot points.

Inception does pretty well on both levels. No, really, it makes more sense if you take a nap halfway through.

You might be asking yourself how one goes about measuring average handsomeness in a movie. Great question. All you have to do is compare each actor to a paragon of handsomeness.

Basically, I prefer brunettes and anything that is not a Leonardo DiCaprio. I really should've gone with Foyle.

I love Awkward Black Girl so much.

"Did I die and go to simple bitch hell?"

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dbgljZFi1A?fs=1&feature=oembed] 

I Can't Believe I Forgot to Tell You About "Beginners"

This was my favorite movie I've seen in a while. Not least because one of the main characters is Arthur, the Subtitled Dog. It sounds so gross and twee to have a "talking" dog, but the movie is so ultimately heart-breaking (not a spoiler, I swear) that the touches of whimsy feel necessary. It's basically about a man (Oliver!) coming to terms with the way his father, a gay man, chose to live (and love) over the course of his life. Ewan McGregor, you guys!

Here is Arthur, though, the real star:

"The darkness is about to swallow us if we don't do something drastic," he says, near the beginning of the movie.

Molly tells me this all the time, second-hand stunt queen that she is.

Gonna drop like a stone.

Can we talk about how obsessed I am with the Talking Heads song "Sax and Violins" lately?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FJ8x6wnZy8?fs=1&feature=oembed] 

Because I am totally obsessed. It's so deliciously...New Wave-y. I think? It's about more than the song; it's about the Wim Wenders film it came from ("Until the End of the World"; a movie that is probably better in my memory than in reality and that I always felt would've made a really good book...why don't people ever do this?) (Did you know that Peter Carey co-wrote the screenplay?).

You know what I need to read? A really good, tragic romance. Of the non-cheesy variety. "Oscar and Lucinda"? 

We are criminals that never broke no laws. And all we needed was a net to break our fall, you know? No? Yes--

OH MY GOD, get back to work, Ana, your thesis is due in like four days.

The Aura

...is a really good Argentinian thriller I watched recently with my dad. Ricardo Darin (from The Secret In Their Eyes, a movie made famous by this blog) is such a good actor. Watching movies with my dad always reminds me of when I first moved to Charlotte and had the super-ultra-plus Netflix sub so that we could watch a movie every.single.night. This was before streaming. It seemed to me at the time that there was absolutely nothing to do in Charlotte, but as it's turned out there's only mostly nothing to do here.

No, I totally love living here, why do you ask?

*cries quietly*

Here it is on the 'flix.

200 Word Movie Review: The Secret in Their Eyes

 
 

The good: Great acting, and by people who are not alienating in their attractiveness. One of the best things about foreign movies is that so often the people on screen are not OHMYGOD THESE WHITE TEETH. They’re just people. The story is super-twisty, but in a way that is easy to follow. Also, it incorporates Argentine history with a really light touch. The more you know, I suspect, about what happened during the Peron years, the richer the movie becomes, but it’s hardly a prerequisite. The movie is funny. Especially if you speak Spanish.

The bad: The subtitles are…inadequate. The ending is operatic where the rest of the movie is sort of subtle, so there’s a shift in tone that’s a little jarring. But, it’s a well-earned ending. Even my boyfriend liked it, though I think he would want me to mention that going to the movies is a completely pointless and expensive experience generally. I do not share this opinion, but I respect it in the sense that I am constantly working against it. If his disdain were a river, I would be paddling upstream towards some village called “Let’s Put Beer in the Side-Pocket of My Purse*”.

*We should do this next time.