I guess it's a good day for a run in the sense that a blizzard hasn't formed like I prayed it would all day so I would have a valid excuse for skipping my run. Here are some other valid excuses for skipping a run, according to me:

-A stiff breeze made you turn around for a sweater and when you walked back outside 30 minutes later, you realized some people would describe the sun as setting. I mean, at least one person. Probably. Running in the dark is dangerous!

-You decided to go running on the greenway, but then on the way there you realized you needed to stop at the pharmacy and then you decided to get a flu shot, and there's always a chance of side effects the next day. So you thought ''better play it safe and take it easy.''

-Your dog keeps getting distracted while you're running with her and what if she made you fall and you busted a hip, you know? Slow down to a walk!

-''Shin splints.''

-You're almost at the end of your audio book.

Despite my gift for coming up with 100% solid reasons not to go running, it seems I'm getting better at it. Is it possible to become good at running out of the spite you feel for literally everyone who has ever run without being chased? As if to prove their accomplishment meant nothing? Because I think that's what might be happening here.

Things of the Fall

Since autumn is almost upon us, I decided to dig out my bike...oh, but I have to tell you about the little store-room off the carport.

The room of doom.

I don't know if you have the privilege of living in an old house. My house was built in the 1960s, which is not that old in terms of the whole world, but is pretty old in terms of these guys:

My house has spiders of every kind: little ones, big ones, and (most importantly) poisonous ones. The lifespan of a black widow is one year, and mating season is the summer, with eggs hatching in the fall, which is relevant because spiders are protective little jerks. Also, fecund. My carport is just brimming with egg sacs new and old. They look like all of your nightmares:

You guys, I went in with a flashlight and broom and committed a holocaust. I fought a black widow-mother for my bike. I touched so many egg sacs (sidebar: why are sacs such a big thing in nature? Please discuss). Now I'm sitting here, on my couch, writing this. I keep thinking I feel the prickle of baby spiders walking down my back. I'm covered in spider webs and glory (glory is what I call the mysterious, intense itch between my shoulder bladesOHMYGOD AM I DYING?).

I love you, schwinnsy.

Check yo head.

Today I had this thought: "Boy, I am so excited to go expend some of this anxious energy at the gym."

What?!

I suspect a brain slug.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p28e2Y4uJFg?fs=1&feature=oembed]